About counseling
What is grief counseling?
Grief counseling provides support that helps individuals cope more easily with typical, expected, and natural reactions to loss and successfully adapt to a different and new reality.
What are the most common reactions to loss?
Emotional Reactions (sadness, anger, rage, guilt, shame, anxiety and fear, envy and jealousy, loneliness, emptiness, helplessness, longing and yearning for the person who was lost, relief, etc.)
Physical Reactions (emptiness, pain, heaviness in the stomach, digestive issues, tightness in the chest, sensitivity to noise, difficulty breathing, muscle weakness or tension, dry mouth, headaches, dizziness, fatigue, excessive sweating, menstrual cycle disturbances.)
Cognitive Reactions (numbness, confusion, disbelief, difficulty concentrating, memory difficulties, a sense of losing control over one’s life, intrusive images and thoughts, hopelessness, pessimism regarding the future, visual or auditory experiences of the deceased, searching for meaning in the loss and in life after loss, thoughts of revenge.)
Behavioral Reactions (insomnia and interrupted sleep, changes in appetite, withdrawal from others, dreams about the deceased, excessive activity, crying, verbal or behavioral aggression toward oneself or others, visiting places associated with the deceased, preserving the deceased’s belongings, seeking accountability or a sense of justice, regression, asking “why” questions, community-oriented engagement.)
What Are the Steps We Go Through Together in the Grieving Process?
Step 1: Accepting the Reality of the Loss: after a loss, people often struggle to face what has happened. They may also deny the significance of the loss. Accepting reality means confronting the loss both emotionally and intellectually.
Step 2: Processing the Pain of Grief: this involves facing emotions, even painful ones. It means recognizing pain, naming emotions, and learning how to cope with them.
Step 3: Adjusting to a World Without What Has Been Lost: after a loss, a person must face the world without what or who they have lost. This task includes internal, external, and sometimes spiritual adjustments.
Why Is support from one’s environment often insufficient?
- Small social circles: the person has a very limited social network
- Shared grief: members of the social network are also personally affected by the loss
- Lack of knowledge: people may not know how to provide appropriate support
- Avoidance of pain: others may avoid the topic because the loss feels too painful
- Discomfort of others: potential helpers may feel uncomfortable and withdraw
- Personality traits: the grieving person may believe they must cope entirely alone
- Disenfranchised loss: some forms of loss receive little understanding or support
- Social norms and expectations: rigid expectations regarding how grief “should” look
Why choose online counseling?
- It is practical and accessible.
- It is confidential and convenient.
- It fits easily into your schedule.
- It is just as effective as in-person counseling.
What can you expect from professional help while grieving?
- Support in accepting the reality of the loss.
- Support in recognizing and expressing feelings related to the loss.
- Support in adjusting to life after someone’s death.
- Support in finding meaning in the loss.
- Support in emotionally adapting to the absence of the deceased.
- Time and space for grieving.
- Understanding and interpretation of common grief reactions.
- Respect for individual differences in grieving.
- Continuous support.
- Assessment of coping strategies and defense mechanisms.
- Recognition of possible complications and referral to other professionals if necessary.
The process of grief
What if grief?
Grief is a fundamental and universal human emotion that arises in response to loss, disappointment, failure, or perceived threats to important personal values and relationships. In psychology, grief is described as an emotional state characterized by reduced energy, withdrawal, feelings of emptiness, and introspection. It has an adaptive function, enabling people to process loss and adjust to a new reality. Loss may include the loss of a loved one, relationship, job, financial security, friendship, sense of safety, vision of the future, identity, or anything else a person deeply values.
How does a “normal” grieving process look like?
Before describing a “normal” grieving process, it is important to understand that what is considered normal varies greatly across cultures, individuals, and life circumstances.
Everyone copes with grief differently. Some cry for days and barely find the strength to care for themselves. Others laugh nervously in an attempt to ease emotional pain. Some feel emptiness and wonder why they do not react like others. All of these reactions are normal. There is no single correct way to grieve.
What are the symptoms of acute grief?
- Feelings of shock or numbness
- Intense emotional suffering occurring in waves
- Sleep difficulties
- Loss of appetite
- Restlessness
- Loss of sexual desire
- Feelings of guilt related to the deceased or the loss
- Difficulty concentrating
- Intense sadness
What is integrated grief?
As the deep wound of acute grief gradually begins to heal, integrated grief emerges. During this phase, integrated grief emerges. During this phase, a person slowly returns to everyday activities while the pain becomes less overwhelming. The person learns to integrate the loss into life and finds a way to remain emotionally connected to the deceased within a new reality.
At times, grief may temporarily intensify again, especially during anniversaries or holidays. This is a normal part of the grieving process and not a sign of failure.
For many people, integrated grief becomes a lasting, healthy state in which sadness and longing remain present but are no longer disabling.
When does complicated grief occur?
When a person is unable to move from acute grief toward integrated grief, complicated grief may develop. In such cases, symptoms of acute grief may persist for years after the loss. Memories of the deceased remain frequent, deeply painful, and emotionally disabling.
Risk factors for complicated grief:
- Sudden or violent loss
- Previous mood or anxiety disorders
- Loss of a child or very young person
- Weak social support
- Poor relationships, neglect, or abuse during childhood
About loss
Loss can appear in many forms and life situations. It does not refer only to the death of a loved one, but also to many other changes that can deeply affect our inner world.
How can losses differ?
Losses may differ according to:
- Who or what was lost.
- Whether the loss occurred naturally or through human ac
tion. - Whether the loss was expected or sudden.
Are there losses that are invisible to others?
Yes. Some losses are invisible to others, yet equally profound.
Loss may be physical and visible - such as death.
However it may also be symbolic and hidden — for example, the loss of identity, self-esteem, safety, trust in people, faith in justice, or a vision of the future.
What kinds of losses do we experience throughout life?
Throughout life, we experience many developmental losses , such as separation from parents when starting kindergarten or parting from teachers and classmates. We also experience losses connected to traumatic events and material losses such as losing money, a home, or personal belongings.
In my years of experience
the grieving process for parents of children with developmental difficulties is often complex, long-term, and non-linear. It involves not only the loss itself, but also the loss of expectations regarding the child’s future, parenthood, and family life as originally imagined.
What are the stages of grief for parents of children with developmental disabilities?
- Shock and Denial – disbelief, hoping that the diagnosis is wrong.
- Anger – directed toward oneself, a partner, professionals, the environment, or "fate."
- Bargaining – searching for therapies and alternative solutions, believing "if I do everything...".
- Sadness and Depression – feelings of loss, helplessness, and exhaustion.
- Acceptance – a more realistic view of the child’s needs and one's own parental role.
It is important to emphasize that parents do not move through these stages in a linear way. Emotions may return during different periods of life.
What are the specific features of grief in parents of children with developmental disabilities?
- Chronic sorrow – does not end with a single event but is reactivated from time to time
- Ambivalent emotions – experiencing love and pride, alongside pain and exhaustion, at the same time
- Social isolation – a lack of understanding from others or a lack of support
- Increased stress in partner relationships – caused by differing coping styles
Which factors help parents adjust?
- Psychological support
- Parent support groups
- Education about the child’s condition
- Development of resilience and self-care
- Support from family and community
What is the goal of the grieving process for parents of children with developmental disabilities?
- Integrating the experience into one’s life
- Developing realistic hope
- Finding meaning and a deep connection with your child
- Creating functional family life despite challenges